Theater Final Project #1 Write a play

Wentao Wang

This short play was inspired by an experience I had a while ago, during Black Friday, as I was sitting on a bench and looking over my friends’ shopped trophies, freezing half to death, waiting for them to finish shopping.

Setting: Night time, after midnight. In a large open shopping district, out by a bench. A sweeper, who is in his late-middle age and who is an overweight and funny-dressed man, quietly sweeps the trash around the bench as the surroundings (lighting, decorations) suggest a busy and jolly all-night shopping spree of Black Friday.

Characters: The Sweeper (baggy pants, old blue jacket, pear-shaped body, a funny little hat that looks like a Santa hat but worn-green instead of red), the woman shopper, the young couple, the honors student.

Scene begins with the Sweeper pushing a funny looking top heavy trash cart near the bench, he struggles with pushing the cart a little—he is very clumsy and works very slowly, pulling out the sweep from the cart and starts to sweep. As he is slowly and clumsily working around sweeping and cleaning up the trash, a well-dressed woman shopper, in her early 30’s, with shopping bags in one hand and a hot coffee cup in the other, walks toward the bench…
She walks past the Sweeper and sits on the bench, looking at him in a clearly disgusted way. She sets her bags beside her and finishes the coffee. She puts the empty coffee cup back against the wall next to the bench, and talks to the Sweeper…

Woman: It must be tough… Working so late, and in such excruciating cold too! So, how’s your Black Friday?
Sweeper: Oh. (Silence) Well…
Woman: I see. It must be tough! Poor you… I bet it sucks that you can’t be with your family during Thanksgiving! And boy is it cold tonight!
Sweeper: (Chuckles) I’m living alone though.
Woman: (Looks taken aback for a moment, but soon regains that light in her eyes that shows even more disapprove) …The night is so long! There’s still Gucci’s that I need to visit… My feet are killing me. You don’t mind if I sit here for a sec’ do you? I presume that I am not in your way.
Sweeper: Not at all.
Woman: Very well. So how long is your shift?
Sweeper: All night.
Woman: My goodness! That’s horrible. Are you not tired?
Sweeper: (at his work, without looking at the woman) I’m fine.
Woman: (sighs) But well… you do still have a LONG night ahead! (sort of to herself) Doing an all-night shift during Thanksgiving… how unfortunate!
Sweeper: (walks past her, bending down with great difficulty to pick up the empty coffee cup near her feet. Without speaking, he nudges back to the cart and puts the cup into the trash bag.)
Woman: (made uncomfortable by what he just did, so she stands up, straightens her clothes, and picks up her shopping bags) Geez! These benches are so freezing cold and hard… I can’t sit here any longer. Well, good night to you, sir.
Sweeper: Have fun.
Woman: (walks off the Sweeper’s ear range, to the audience, a soliloquy) have fun… Have FUN?? I will surely be having more fun than he will! What a failure as a man! He’s got nothing! And look what he’s doing? He mustn’t be very ambitious! Living off of picking up rubbish after people, and he doesn’t even do that with proper professionalism! And he probably does this all year long—no family, probably no friends either… What a dismal demonstration of the most pathetic human specimen! I feel infinitely superior as a living existence when I lay eyes upon him! He probably doesn’t care about anything! A man cannot be a man if he does not fight for a lofty goal! Ambitionless, DISGUSTING! Hell, it pains me to even look at him! I will be damned if I ever approach such a thing again. I must head off now! There is much shopping to be done. If I do not get that Gucci bag on discount, I would not stand going to work with them laughing at me for using my current bag… (she mumbles and walks off stage)

The Sweeper keeps at his job. He sweeps and rallies up the dirt to dump into the garbage bag, as a young couple approach the bench…

Man: Sweetie, why don’t we sit down over here for a second? We’ve been walking for a while now. I bet you can use a rest.
Woman: Sure. (but looks at the Sweeper and hesitates)
Man: (getting the hint) Excuse me sir, we won’t be in your way, will we?
Sweeper: No. Go ahead.
The couple sits down.
Woman: Thanks. (turns toward her boyfriend) I’m not sure about that scarf… do you think it really works well with my coat?
Man: Well, you could always just get another coat… I mean, you’ve been wearing your current one for a while.
Woman: Really?? You would do that for me??
Man: Eh… on second thought… I think that scarf would be great!
Woman: What a jerk!
Man: I’m kidding with you sweetie, of course I’d get you a new one if you want…

As they flirt and giggle, the sweeper continues at his job.

Woman: Hang on, Let me run to the bathroom for a sec. (Stands up, runs off)
Man: (sees her off, then nods and smiles to the Sweeper) …women…
Sweeper: (Smiles and nods, as if getting the man’s message) Enjoying the evening?
Man: Yeah… Well it’s not bad. How’s yours?
Sweeper: OK.
Man: (lost for words and becomes embarrassed by the awkward moment) …uh… well that’s good to hear!

The uncomfortable silence goes on for a while, until the woman hurries back.

Woman: Sorry to keep you waiting.

As she tries to sit down beside her boyfriend again, he hurriedly stands up…

Man: Uh… Maybe we need to get going now. It’s cold out here and we shouldn’t sit here for too long, let’s go to Nike, or maybe Addidas, I need some new jogging gear.
Woman: (Surprised) …O…K?

They walk off hearing range of the Sweeper, and the man says to the woman…

Man: What an awkward man! Did you see what he was wearing? And the way he looked at you… It’s revolting! You’ve got to be careful from now on. There are these people who are basically homeless and do this kind of basic degrading work… I mean, who seriously would be desperate enough to work on a night like this?? You’ve got to watch out! Because there are people out there who would do all sorts of horrible things like kidnapping and…
Woman: (Interrupts him) OK, OK… I get your point, I’m fine and I can take care of myself. But he probably couldn’t catch me if he tried. Look at how huge he is!
Man: (More relaxed) Well, you’ve got a point there…

They giggle and walk off-stage.

The Sweeper pushes the cart closer to the other side of the bench and begins cleaning there. A little while later, a young college student approaches the bench. He has neat hair, a backpack, and a book in his hand. He sits down, flips through his book but is obviously bothered by the freezing coldness and becomes unable to concentrate…

Student: Good night sir, happy Thanksgiving.
Sweeper: Thanks, You too.
Student: (looks at the large and clumsy man in front of him, fascinated and amused, but he attempts to show empathy and sympathy) Working so late? I didn’t know there are shifts this late… When do you get to go home?
Sweeper: Not ‘till tomorrow.
Student: That… That is… quite awful. (looks down at the book in his hand, without words)
Sweeper: (Finally stops to look at the student) you are a college student, huh?
Student: (Suddenly revitalized) Yes! And I am probably the ONLY college student who would still read a book during Thanksgiving!
Sweeper: Why here? You look cold.
Student: (rolls his eyes) don’t even get me started! You see… I came with my friends, and now they are happy shopping around, and I’m sitting here, watching their stuff! They don’t care about me, not at all!
Sweeper: (Looks at him sympathetically) Why not just go with them?
Student: (Looks offended) I can’t afford to waste all this good time shopping with them! I’m an honors student! I got what I need already (points to a small bag amongst the other huge bags), these others are my friends’ stuff, and they are still going to buy more stuff! I just don’t want to waste my time with them anymore. Besides, I’m tired as heck.
Sweeper: (chuckles) Like they all said… The night’s still a long way to go.
Student: Please! I don’t need any reminder for that most unfortunate fact! I imagine that it would be pretty awful for you too… We are like tragic event partners now!
Sweeper: (chuckles)
Student: But I still don’t get why the administrative people here would have you clean this crap for the entire night! That’s like… inhumane!
Sweeper: Well, son. I’m not as smart as you are, so there wasn’t much left for me.
Student: (In deep thought) …
Sweeper: My job isn’t so bad… but yours may be much better. (goes back to cleaning the area)
Student: (after a while, trying hard to find ways to console the Sweeper) I don’t know… It seems like with how impractical the school systems are right now, many people graduate college unable to find jobs any how… It’s not about education.
Sweeper: Now, now. (chuckles) You are talking about things beyond my grasp.
Student: … I will be going now. I will find somewhere indoor to sit and wait for my irresponsible and negligent friends! Good night sir.
Sweeper: Take care.

Student walks off hearing range of the Sweeper, and speaks in soliloquy.

Student: He is, as well, another foolish man! Sure, it’s not about education but the ability of the man himself to learn and succeed on his own. Intelligence will never be a direct entailment of schooling; in fact, they are sometimes inversely related in quantity. A man’s self-motivation to learn is what makes him intelligent, which is what makes him more successful in school than his peers, and it is not the other way around.
(pauses)
Alas! That foolish man, a foreshadowing of the future for my equally foolish friends, who waste their time shopping, letting their guards down just because it is a holiday! Never should a man stop studying! I, who only spend minor portions of time to fulfill the most basic needs, will be the one absent from the cold and lonely night a fool must spend with himself, paying penance for his youthful stupidity… I am sure, this good fellow, who selflessly clean the corners ‘round benches, was once an oblivious fool… and now? A regretful fool. I find it hard to sympathize with a man so foolish as to squander his own good life and blame fate for his own wrong doing…
(sighs)
The cold current of the vicious night saddens my flesh and blood. I must now seek shelter from this unfeeling numbness which cometh my way.
(walks off stage with all the bags)

The Sweeper finally finishes the area around the bench—he stuffs the trash bag and the sweep into the trash cart and takes a break by sitting down onto the bench. After awhile, he reflects on his night…

Sweeper: Ahh… My back attempts again at murdering me. The bench feels comfortable enough for a foolish man like me. Funny. She who accused me for my lack of ambition was only enough ambitious for a Gucci bag… Comic. They who accuse me of uncanny actions squander their lives at precisely those eerie actions themselves. Intriguing! He who accused me for my foolishness of ill-utilized youth would dissipate his valuable studious instants at musing over the misfortunes of another man. My occupation, if you could call it this, proves to me again having more values beyond the mere feeding of me—I have yet again been amused with the different ways in which an imperfect being mocks the imperfection of another being. My job—a job that evokes meaning and muses while providing support for the basic needs of survival, for me, a foolish man with low standards, proves to be a luxury more than can possibly ask for… Although, it would be appreciated if they could improve the health benefits that come with my job, why, a back message plan would be nice…

As he speaks to himself, drowned within the pleasures of his imaginations, he slowly drifts off to a doze, leaning against his trash cart.

---The End---